Discriminating against the stupid
Now I've heard everything! Apparently we are a society that discriminates against the stupid, and that this can't be allowed to continue. And it's a damn good thing too, if you ask me.
I for one would like someone who can't count being employed to oversee my pension scheme. I think it's a good idea to let illiterate people write our newspapers (I'm referring to the broadsheets, the Mirror and Sun have preceeded me here). Whilst we're at it, how about people who can't grasp ideas about pressure and fluid flow being in charge of our gas and water infrastructures? Maybe people to whom the words electric current conjure up images of a comic-book superhero sultana that shoots blue-jagged lines from it's eyes, should run the national grid. Brain surgeons whose knuckles still drag on the floor (and not just on Monday mornings)? Human rights lawyers covered in swastika tattoos with skinhead haircuts grunting by way of legal retort?
In case you can't tell, I'M BEING SARCASTIC!!! Of course we discriminate against stupid people. Just as we discriminate against everyone, everywhere for something. It's because they can't do things! I can't really swim far, so I'm not expecting to be employed as a lifeguard anytime soon. Is that discrimination? No! It's common-bloody-sense! Children can't be driving instructors. Is that discrimination? No! It's because they can't f**king drive!! Heavily obese people aren't employed as fitness instructors! Discrimination? No! They just can't do it (although it would be really funny).
There are criteria which don't affect peoples ability to do (most) things, for example, gender, race, age (within reason). As such, we shouldn't discriminate on these grounds. But you can't employ someone for something they can't do purely on the grounds of fairness. Society will fall apart.
We all have to deal with stupid people every day, (most of them seem to work for local councils or in call centres) and, if we're honest, they really piss us off with their inability to do the jobs they've been employed for. The last thing we need is them doing anything important. It was bad enough moving house with a completely incompetent letting agent.
But so as not to be completely negative, I have a solution. One that positively discriminates in the favour of the stupid. Use them as an alternative source of green energy. Before you worry I mean melt them down, I mean using them to power power stations. Giant wheels connected to generators turned by hundreds of dunces! Wind turbines blown round by thousands of morons. Hydroelectric generators run by the spit of a million idiots. Or we could just wait until Bush (a perfect example of what can happen when an idiot gets promoted above their rightful position in life) starts another war, and just conscript them all to kill them off.
Right, I've made myself angry (and revealed myself to be a complete megalomaniac lunatic) so I'll stop. I'm going to go and discriminate against one of my sandwiches by eating it last. Perhaps I'll discriminate against a table in the common room too by sitting at another one. Maybe I could discriminate against a door by using the one next to it. Find someone who can't do something and discriminate against them for it. It's time the balance was redressed.
I for one would like someone who can't count being employed to oversee my pension scheme. I think it's a good idea to let illiterate people write our newspapers (I'm referring to the broadsheets, the Mirror and Sun have preceeded me here). Whilst we're at it, how about people who can't grasp ideas about pressure and fluid flow being in charge of our gas and water infrastructures? Maybe people to whom the words electric current conjure up images of a comic-book superhero sultana that shoots blue-jagged lines from it's eyes, should run the national grid. Brain surgeons whose knuckles still drag on the floor (and not just on Monday mornings)? Human rights lawyers covered in swastika tattoos with skinhead haircuts grunting by way of legal retort?
In case you can't tell, I'M BEING SARCASTIC!!! Of course we discriminate against stupid people. Just as we discriminate against everyone, everywhere for something. It's because they can't do things! I can't really swim far, so I'm not expecting to be employed as a lifeguard anytime soon. Is that discrimination? No! It's common-bloody-sense! Children can't be driving instructors. Is that discrimination? No! It's because they can't f**king drive!! Heavily obese people aren't employed as fitness instructors! Discrimination? No! They just can't do it (although it would be really funny).
There are criteria which don't affect peoples ability to do (most) things, for example, gender, race, age (within reason). As such, we shouldn't discriminate on these grounds. But you can't employ someone for something they can't do purely on the grounds of fairness. Society will fall apart.
We all have to deal with stupid people every day, (most of them seem to work for local councils or in call centres) and, if we're honest, they really piss us off with their inability to do the jobs they've been employed for. The last thing we need is them doing anything important. It was bad enough moving house with a completely incompetent letting agent.
But so as not to be completely negative, I have a solution. One that positively discriminates in the favour of the stupid. Use them as an alternative source of green energy. Before you worry I mean melt them down, I mean using them to power power stations. Giant wheels connected to generators turned by hundreds of dunces! Wind turbines blown round by thousands of morons. Hydroelectric generators run by the spit of a million idiots. Or we could just wait until Bush (a perfect example of what can happen when an idiot gets promoted above their rightful position in life) starts another war, and just conscript them all to kill them off.
Right, I've made myself angry (and revealed myself to be a complete megalomaniac lunatic) so I'll stop. I'm going to go and discriminate against one of my sandwiches by eating it last. Perhaps I'll discriminate against a table in the common room too by sitting at another one. Maybe I could discriminate against a door by using the one next to it. Find someone who can't do something and discriminate against them for it. It's time the balance was redressed.
posted by Dave's annoyed | 12:20 PM
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