Necrophilia, nuclear power, and French people stealing our water.

There are lots of lists around detailing the worst things to say on dates. They tend to state the bleeding obvious; for example:

• My ex and I used to come here all the time.
• I only split with my girlfriend last week.
• I've had 10 lovers, how many have you had?

and such like. But I think these are far from the worst; granted if you said them, it looks bad, but it's recoverable, not the end of the world. However, it doesn't take a great imagination to come up with some that would spell the end of the date (and possibly your social/outside of prison life) if you let them slip:

• Hm, you're breathing; oh well, no-one's perfect I guess.
• Could you moo for me, please?
• My tripod has broken, could you come back to my place and take some photos of me fallating 6-year olds for my website?

Tell me these are not worse. I suppose they are less likely to come out in polite conversation by mistake, but as someone who can lodge foot well and truly in mouth at any opportunity, I think you should all take care; it could happen to you!

So having started on that subtle discourse, what next? It's been a while since my last textual splurging and there's so much:

• Nuclear power: Apparently we in Britain are (almost) certain to be building new nuclear reactors in the next few years to reduce dependence on imported gas. Of course this has brought all the green-meanies and left-wing loonies out of the woodwork, eager to spill their unimformed bile all over the rest of us. "Why should we have nuclear when Iran can't?": easy answer, because we want it to light the kitchen and heat the house whilst Iran wants it to wipe out Israel (they have more oil and solar capacity than they could ever need; why invest massive capital in nuclear? Think about it). "The waste is really nasty and will linger for thousands of years": true, but you can just stick it in a barrel and bury it and it'll be fine (if done properly). "The waste can be used in nuclear weapons.": for fucks sake! Plutonium is easy to make, a kid in the States did it in his shed, the difficult step is weapons grade Uranium and that has sod-all to do with nuclear power; get your facts right! Brings me onto...
• Uninformed morons: I was reading a review on the internet movie database the other day of a film called Metropolis, a sci-fi from 1927 being given away free with the Times to see if I wanted it. The review (by an American! Wait for it!) complained about the film on the grounds there wasn't any dialogue. Hm, thinks I; 1927 is a long time ago, were there even talkies back then? So I checked: first talking film, The Jazz Singer released in 1927. It then took several years to catch on and spread to most new films. So this muppet was slating the film more than slightly unfairly. For God's sake, this is like blaming Napolean for not using planes at Waterloo to ensure victory. Why can't people who don't know just shut up!
• The wettest drought in history: It's raining, just for a change. And the country is slowly succumbing to drought orders. Now call me old fashioned but I thought a drought was when it didn't rain and there wasn't any water. Apparently there'll be standpipes in the streets, and no water to the home; yet we'll still pay water rates. Seriously, what the fuck! You know why it is, don't you? It's because half the water companies are French-owned! They'll be stealing it, or pissing in it or something. Or laying spawn in it.

Ok, enough for now, tis time to work. But there are some annoying adverts on tv at the moment; I feel more may soon be forthcoming